we were wine drunk in a sad state
rain fell softly, our feet bare in tall grass
we discovered and devoured everything
it was a time, I wish we could go back to
a place that no longer exists
nothing is the same
we are not the same
like rain runs off an old tin roof
we did our best
we were all winging it
without a book of instructions
we loved and tried and cried
sickness taught us about mortality
and of time
of right and of wrong
of a balance of life based on mystery
life gave us as much as we took
we were brittle, we were broken
we looked deep to encompass pain
to draw a circle around it and around us
the circle around us, that was grace,
I, just a boy, you, a girl, we
to each other, every boy and girl
we had ever had and lost
we wanted to leave, to not exist,
to go leaving no tracks or marks
to be forgotten and not followed,
we yearned only for us to be
we wondered how to live
for ourselves and for life and
because we believed
in each other as one spirit
we wanted to see the sky,
to go home, but how ?
we did not think past us
over our shipwrecked lives
everything was falling and not falling
the next toehold in life was
sore tired hearts and bodies
of the children we were, we are
we lost, unsure of what was real
we didn’t know what to do or to write
or to say or to ask, to only feel a sad
liberating acceptance of a deeper sadness
we were stripped of a dignity in life
of all things tried and failed
all the love we’re ever given
can be invoked long after it’s gone
I’m here
we are here
in this moment, this place, a time
when once there was this: us.
©Bill Reynolds 1/21/2019
Look both ways, but love the past we’ve lost to the cosmos.
Those gaps are gone, sadly.
