Fear and dread
have settled like two large stones
into the pit of my stomach,
depression diving sudden and deep
into my gut.
My mind is occupied
with thoughts of impossible
lifesaving attempts.
I’m unable to focus.
Tears press against my eyes
wanting to be released,
my composure is thread bare.
I want to live without
such deep desperation or
just to fucking die.
I feel such a sadness
like I’ve never known,
like others have suffered,
some in shock, some like me
a slowly turning poisoned
pair of pits, burning
stones within my body,
Making me the saddest
of men, of fathers or mothers,
some sons or daughters
feeling helpless and worthless
unable to save the things we love
the most. Such agony
is the human condition.
***
Look both ways on good days and bad.
Mind the gaps of the bad on good days,
and good on the bad.
