Passed Gas
When Dad said, “secondhand store,” I looked at my hands. Wondered which was bought second. It’s a euphemism for used. Now it’s preloved. Just bought a preloved printer. Nobody loves evil printers. They’re used.
Daughter, Julie, likens me to George Carlin. Not as funny, but I’m snarkastic. We both rant about softening lingo with euphemistic bull shit excrement. It’s doublespeak. Even good bad words, a euphemism for euphemisms. What’s your favorite?
Look both ways: a euphemism for pay attention or consider all options. Mind both past and future.
So is mind the gaps. Maybe metaphor is mo’ betta’.
Our Literary Journey 
I was recently told I was ‘getting on a bit’ but not ready to ‘kick the bucket’ just yet!
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I agree, Keith. Not ready at all.
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Dear Bill,
Not long ago Gwyneth Paltrow announced that she and her husband had “uncoupled.” That made me want to unswallow. And Carlin hit on one that I hate…90 years young. Barf. And don’t call me “young lady.” I’m 67. Not ready to be put out to pasture, but certainly no spring chicken. Nu? Another favorite Carlinism of mine is You can’t fool me. Shoot is shit with two ‘o’s. Loved this piece and, as you can see, I’m on the same page…or computer screen.
Shalom (which still means peace),
Rochelle
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Hey Rochelle,
Indeed. I enjoyed working ($ too). I delayed retiring (pasture land). After I finally did I wondered what I had been waiting for. Love this “pasture” where everyday is mine. 🙂
Shalom indeed,
Bill
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I love your response to this, Rochelle 😀 I like the word shoot though, I have to say. And it does sound pretentious to say you’ve “uncoupled” but it also sounds like a word I wouldn’t mind using in a poem! Hope you are well, you clever lady ❤
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Ah, I think that generally speaking, people should not be put out to pasture until they are ready to push daisies … 😉
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I agree. But the grass can be so much greener. And if there are no other bulls, well … 🙂
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Ah … yeah … there’s that … 😉
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I very much enjoyed reading your piece, Bill. And I do prefer the word pre-loved rather than secondhand, although it does suggest that the person doesn’t love it any more so it’s back on the shelf 🙂 I love chewing over words though so you’ve given me food for thought.
However, I don’t have any pet hates as such as I absolutely love euphemisms. Like Cockney rhyming slang i.e. the apples and pears (stairs), whistle and flute (suit) or “Would you Adam and Eve it?” as in “Would you believe it?”
I particularly like the phrase “giving it large” meaning having a good time. Bit of a 90s classic, that one. 😀
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Oh, well, Sunra. Different strokes, I suppose. 🙂
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Nailed it! So much wordsmithery in the turning of a phrase. LOL. I enjoyed this one and Carlin is spot on 🙂
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Thank you, Sue. George was an inspiration, but not sure if that’s good or bad. LOL 🙂
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