Thursday’s Rune: Porter or Stout?

Old Man Sugarfoot

At FUBAR’s bar on the Redneck Riviera, I ordered up.

“I’ll have a sarsaparilla with a dash of cherry.”

The young redhead tending bar gave me a look, “Who are you?”

“I’m Sugarfoot, Ma’am.” (Removing my hat)

(I could’ve said, “Will Rogers, Jr., Slim Pickens, or Sheb Wooley.”
She’d a remained clueless.)

I responded to her saucy look by asking,
“What’s your darkest beer?”

She said, “Shiner Bock. But try this instead.”
I agreed.

She put a glass of white-capped, watery, light-gold liquid on the bar.

I looked at Yolonda, then at the drink, at the bar tender, and back at the drink.
“Is this beer?” I asked.

With a catty smile and in a demanding tone, “Drink up old man.”

I downed the grog and slammed my glass back on the bar.

(I don’t know why men do such foolish things.)

She gave me a minute, then, “Well? What do you think, Mr. Foot?”

With my most honest, I been trick-fucked again look, I replied,
“Ma’am, I think your horse is diabetic.”

She cut me off, so we left.

Giggling as we walked out, Yolonda said, “You’re such a funny old fool. I’ll drive.”

Look both ways and across the bar. Mind the gaps and opinions of bartenders.

(Note: FUBAR is acronym for fucked up beyond all reason.)

23 thoughts on “Thursday’s Rune: Porter or Stout?”

  1. That look definitely goes with the tone of this! And I’m still laughing. Love the term FUBAR – can’t help but see and hear Kurt Russell. Reading the title, I was thinking, this would be a difficult decision – why not one of both? Instead you got diabetic horse piss… Blech.
    You’re so funny.

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    Reply

    1. Thank you, Dale.

      And yes, the photo was taken there and then. Except for some of the exaggerated dialogue, it’s true (even the name).

      For the record, I checked FUBAR’s menu when I wrote this and their beer selection is much improved with several excellent dark beer choices. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. 🙂

        I believe it. And what part of darkest beer do you have did she not understand?

        So… you might give them another chance, then… 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You betcha!

        If I still lived there (Fort Walton Beach, FL) and there was no pandy-virus, I would go back even with a weak beer menu. It’s a pizza bar, so there is that, too.

        (to be honest, I like that pic of me.)

        Liked by 1 person

      3. 😀

        There’s nothing wrong with a weak beer menu if the pizza bar is good. Dang pandy-virus is really wreaking havoc with my travel plans.

        (I don’t see why not. It’s a good ‘un)

        Liked by 1 person

      6. The only one I do now is the occasional trip to west Texas (about 5 hours) to visit. I was contemplating going to the Cowboy Poet shindig in Alpine, TX next month; but I decided to pass until things are safer.
        We are setting new records around here for COVID infections. I don’t want to play with that.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. No. Travelling is not worth the risk right now. Our numbers are through the roof, too.
        We used to drive down to Florida with our trailers (with my sister and sometimes other friends) or down to the New Jersey shore. I don’t foresee that ever happening again in my lifetime.

        Liked by 1 person

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