I think my aunt Lorry loved me a lot more than I realized. I remember how each week she’d cut the latest Dennis the Menace gag comic, single-panel cartoon from her newspaper along with a word of the day snippet, and she would mail them to me accompanied by a little note. My behavior reminded her of the cartoon protagonist, or vice versa. While I never saw the connection (the cartoon being more innocently contrived), it was the only mail I recall getting from anyone, particularly from an adult when it was not my birthday or Christmas. Lorry and what she did for me are among many things I failed to adequately appreciate in my childhood. But I do now.
When I graduated from Texas A&M, my mother’s older sister also paid for my class ring. Aggie class rings are a big deal to alumni (aka former students), as they are for grads of many other schools. I still wear the ring today, almost 50 years later.
Her real name was Dolores. My sister and I, along with our cousin, called her Lorry, but I never asked why. For most of my life, Lorry lived and worked in Washington, D.C., about a four-hour drive from Wilks-Barre today with light traffic, but almost twice that by bus in the 1950s. So, I didn’t see her often. She also never married and was considered old fashioned and a very traditional, staunch Catholic, even back in the day. She was not difficult, but would criticize wrongdoing when she saw it, explaining her labored relationship with my father.
I suspect Lorry was quite bright. Had it not been for the negative antifeminist influences of her early 20th Century culture and her family, she would have achieved more, not that she did poorly for one who entered the female workforce early in the Great Depression. But then, I’d not have a famous cartoon character as a childhood alter ego, my vocabulary might be less sufficient, and my word-love less geeky had she been different.
Unlike me and little Jackie Paper, Dennis (the menace) Mitchell is still five-and-a-half years old. The cartoon dates to 1951, and it is still in world-wide syndication. Can you imagine Dennis in his late 60s? (I smiled when I wrote that question.) I can. I imagine him in his early 70s, still with the persona of a five-year-old troublemaker.
For the record, Puff the Magic Dragon and Jackie Paper are in their late fifties. I try not to mentally associate them with AC-47 Spooky gunships through that song, but that’s part of me too. There is a certain sadness to all that 1960s and ‘70s stuff that my Irish nature seems to nostalgically understand, but few others get.
But I wonder. What would the Lorry I knew think of me today? As always, there are some aspects of me with which she would undoubtedly find fault. I’m sure she would explain where I could improve. Fair enough. But would she get my ironic sense of humor? What about my vocabulary? I’d probably get a dictionary or world atlas for my birthday (again). And what of her opinion of my writing? My poems (the clean ones)?
Do you have a troublesome young family member? Do you think he or she will remember you and write about you 40 years after you die? Lorry would not have thought so either. But she’d a been wrong. And she might have corrected my spelling and grammar. And I would change it – for her.
What we see as we look both ways changes with life and times,
but not really who we are.
Mind the gaps, but cherish the memories.
3 thoughts on “Essay: I Wear Lorry’s Ring”
Very nice, Bill. I never had anyone in my life like her.
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I tried to be like that for my one nephew but then he listened to his conservative bigot parents and grand parents.
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I enjoyed that post immensely. It was thoughtful and sweet, without a hint of saccharine.
Years ago, maybe ten or so, I saw a quote that was essentially “Be the adult you needed when you were young” and that is my goal. Like you, I can look back and see when adults were doing right by me, and most of them, I can’t thank now, which is a pity because as I get older, I see more and more their impact on my whole life.
Sadly, I think I may actually have suffered from more adults who did me wrong in my youth.
My kids truly believe my older nephew is my favorite child, but it only seems that way because he minds me in a way one’s own kids never do. Occasionally I am also accused of loving their friends more. I have to remind my own children that I have a way with kids, having been a teacher, and that they’re the only ones immune to my talents and skills.
I prefer my husband’s “crazy” young cousin. Everyone else seems to like the sane sister, and I prefer the “crazy” one. That young woman is brilliant, she just lives with the wrong family in the wrong place. *shrugs* When she gets the hell out of there she’s going to have an amazing life and I for one cannot wait to enjoy it with her.
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