Friday Fictioneers 11 – 19 – 2021

Today, two of my favorite people conspired to inspire Friday Fictioneers. Magnificent Rochelle teamed up with photographer extraordinaire, Dale, to throw us on the old woodpile.

We write micro-stories of 100 words or fewer given ideas mused by a new photo each week, provided by other creative and imaginative compatriots. You can read the rules over on Rochelle’s blog and join in the fun. Here is the photo and my story for this week.

 

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson. Click it to fly on over to Rochelle’s blog to get all the hot words on how to join up.

Genre: Gonzo journalism
Word Count: 100
Title: Chainsaw Hammer

***

I cut logs all day with my new chainsaw. After dark, I drank a beer in the yard with my new toy. I thought when all you have is a hammer…

I heard footsteps, then voices. Two burglars! They jimmied a window. I worried and drank more beer.

I grabbed my chainsaw and jerked the start cord. She sounded off. I gunned her a few times before yelling, “prepare to die, mutherfuckers.”

You never heard such a commotion. Yelling and running for dear life. After they left, I finished my beer and went to the house to change my pants.

Look both ways if you’re gunna burgle in Edmond, Oklahoma.
Mind the gaps where crazy old farts sit drinking beer with their favorite new toy.

Click on Gonzo, The Mordant Scribe to read some other stories from the same picture prompt.

56 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers 11 – 19 – 2021”

      2. Well, you are a wonderful photographer, n’est-ce pas? However, I will take whatever credit you give me.

        I hope all is going well.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Well, I would not be so vain as to say so 🙂
        And yes, take it!

        Tout va bien! It’s raining and I hope and “pray” that it does not turn to freezing rain. The temps aren’t supposed to go below freezing but methinks my run is going to be cancelled in the a.m. I’m not that fanatical that I run no matter the weather!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. It was over 80F here today, but that ends tomorrow. Today was slacker day for me. To the store and the coffee shop. No exercise. I’m trying to get through as many FF’s as I can.

        I’ll pass on freezing rain. Snow is okay. Ice is not good. But here, we shut down for either.

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Bloody hell and fuck WordPress. It’s become a straight pain in the ass to deal with the notification pane! I saw your comment last night before going to bed and decided to reply in the morning. Of course, it is gone. Had to come to the Reader…
        k. ’nuff bitching 😉
        Over 80F. Wow…
        I want a slacker day. I will be able to have them come January 3rd. My last day to my 10K steps per day is on January 2nd.
        The rain was barely misting so I dressed to go out and do a 20-minute run. Of course, no sooner had I turned the corner that it started for realz. No matter, I kept on going and it came and went (the rain) It was relatively mild. 52F, though supposedly felt like 48…
        Hope you enjoyed slacking off!

        Liked by 1 person

      14. Back. The traffic was awful. I did not like the coffee shop last time, even less this time. Only one other person showed. But, it was an adventure and I did write some.

        Liked by 1 person

      16. Not really. But I thin I will stick to day times and places where the music (my opinion) isn’t so annoying. I got much done today, but just enough writing to keep me above the line. Tomorrow should be more productive. I hope WP does not drop this comment. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. It might have been simpler to confront the burglars while they were jimmying the window. Most burglars are opportunists and would simply run away. On the other hand, though, I do accept it would have made for a less humorous ending

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  9. That was funny! Love your “life lessons” at the bottom, too. hehe! Definitely beware of old farts…especially when they’re drinking.

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  11. I think the saying is; do not disturb a man drinking beer after a long day’s work. He will get take you apart.
    I enjoyed the humour and the switch from macho man to scaredy pants.

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  12. Dear Bill,

    The last line had me laughing out loud. At least he had his beer to calm his nerves. It was fun picturing this scenario. (Not sure fun is the right word. But it’s still early here.) Good job.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  15. I’ve never burgled anyone, but if I ever did, I suspect that would make me want to stop immediately and then never do it again, as well. Fun story with a nice, happy-ish ending.

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